Hi all,
I titled this blog Ramblings… probably because that’s what is in my head today.
Over the last month, two families we love and care about have had their lives turned upside down, upended without any warning…
One family lost a young father, tragic and unexpected… one family is dealing with a major health issue… not sure of the outcome…
So… I thought Ramblings was the most appropriate thing to title this piece… as Life presents more random unplanned events.
And I guess that’s the major theme here… Unplanned, unknown, unexpected.
The longer I am in this life, the more I understand that we truly do not control much.
We can control what we choose to do, what we choose to eat, what we choose to read etc.. but in terms of the BIG stuff… those are the elements that are often out of our control, out of our reach.
The family that lost their young father began their day like any other, without any forethought of tragedy arriving at their door that day…
The friend who is dealing with a health issue, did everything right, and still is now in the midst of surgeries and unplanned added outcomes.
As we, my family, has been navigating life after Anne unexpectedly died, one of the things that I often think about is how to not keep looking over our shoulders to see what may be coming… waiting, so to say, for the other shoe to drop.
After you are presented with a huge unexpected life event, how do you proceed?
The answer to that is different for everyone… one moment at a time…however it works for YOU.
I have often referred to Megan Devine’s Book… “It’s Ok that you’re Not Ok” as a powerful guide to navigating loss… in all it’s forms.
I was speaking with my friend today, who is dealing with one curveball after another as she works to regain her health, and she said she’s tired of people telling her what and how to feel.
That is the fundamental truth for all of us… navigating loss is personal. There is no formula for how to proceed … there’s just the clumsy, murky realities of how to keep breathing and living.
Sometimes despite our absolute best intentions we stumble when trying to help others…
Best intentions, though well intended, can fall flat or actually irritate the person, persons trying to find a path, a plan a roadway to leave Grief behind, because Grief is exhausting.
I say to anyone who asks me what they can do, and my answer is sit next to me, do not tell me what to do.
Check in with your people, let them know you’re there, even if it’s messy…
Don’t try to fix anything… because you can’t.
But you can Love them… because Love demands nothing. It’s patient and kind.
Patience, kindness, love… always help.
When life is upended… Love even harder.
My ramblings for today…
Thanks for reading,
Pam