Hi all,
It’s been a minute since I have posted anything. I was just looking over older posts and saw the last time I wrote anything was in January.
I have been a writing sloth…
I normally think of myself as a positive person… I like to look for the good… for the possible for the smile.
However, as I think about life, it can be a bitch to stay there!
I think about all the people who have shared that what I write helps them, helps them with shared empathy or a new perspective, and that is motivating…
But, when I am struggling to find a continuing positive narrative these days, I keep getting life whacks!
Last Friday was a positive day! I was feeling upbeat, grateful, and also energized about life turning to the continuing positve… and then yesterday, I got one of those phone calls… and I have to honestly say, I was blown away… and not in the positive sense.
What I am struggling with is the fickleness of life. One minute you’re feeling great and the next you’re cut down.
It might now be that immediate, but it sure felt like that!
I am now 68 years old. I truly can not believe it, but I am. And one of my dearest friends has just turned 79…WHAT?????
In my quest to find the positive and truly try to live a life trusting in the positive ions of the universe, I am becoming reminded that I am now at the age where health concerns and illness will present itself more fequently, no matter how positively I try to think.
That’s my struggle lately.
I don’t feel older… when my grandkids ask if I am now old, I comment with “Nope… I am older, but not Old.” There are people younger by years than I but act older… it’s like they’ve decided to pull the plug and decide to be old.
I do acknowledge that when you have to deal with a persistent health issue, it can make you much more aware of your mortality, cause we all don’t get out of here alive.
It’s interesting though… as I continue to challenge myself to be realistic, I am also challenging myself to resist the temptation to get stuck in the quicksand of negativity.
I do believe that our thoughts truly are powerful, and can create healthier bodies through mindful and positive thinking…
Yet… I also believe the healthiness in feeling… feeling the uncomfortable and going with it… not pushing it down or hiding from it, cause you still have to deal with whatever it is you have to deal with.
So today, I am sitting at the library cause I made myself get out of the house and do something.
On my goal list always is the word.. WRITE… so here I am writing!
These words may not be profound or important , or anything … But they are good for me!
An so in spite of feeling more negative today, than positive.. this sheer exercise is creating a lighter feeling in my heart.
I know I can not fix what may happen in life, but I can choose to try. And in doing that, I lean into the positive and joy that comes with hope!
Thanks for reading,
Pam