Hi,
Heartbreak and Holidays… can they exist together?
I have found this past year, that the coexistence of Heartbreak with whatever is happening in your day, is part of this process of navigating our new reality. We do not spend every day being sad, but parts of lots of days have sadness in them. We love Anne… she’s not here.
The other night my husband and I were talking about what is our new normal. Normal… that’s a word that most likely for all of us, means something different.
I just looked up the definition of the word “normal”. It means “Conforming to a standard; usual, typical or expected.”
Nothing is usual, typical or expected right now. We are redefining what that looks like.
As all of you know, when you go through great loss, there’s a paradigm shift.
What was, is no longer.
What is, is where you are at.
What will be??? Well, that’s still to come…
Holidays are times of lots of feelings for everyone! Joy, stress, love, excitement …. etc.
But, when you add heartbreak to that list of terms, your new reality is messier than “normal” …it is not usual, or typical or anything expected. It’s being reorganized and realigned as you go….
We had a nice Thanksgiving… a lot of the family was together … and some were on a mission to Minnesota.
Those of us that were all together smiled, and laughed… we also shed a tear or two, and hugged a lot!
Holidays and traditions are always evolving… just like life. Change is the constant…
When you’re little, you go to your grandparents homes, then you get bigger and people come to your homes, then your kids get bigger, and you go to their homes… it’s a consistent life process.
One generation replaces the next. Time… it keeps on moving.
I am grateful, we are not quite as raw this year as we were last year at this time. Time… it does that.
Time will not replace or remove the heartbreak of loss… time will not return Anne to us…
Time, we hope, will continue to help us learn to carry our loss with us. Honoring our beautiful Anne always with how we choose, yes choose, to live our lives.
Our heartbreak is present, it’s sneaky… it ebbs and flows… you never quite know when it will appear, or even why… the truth is, it’s its own entity. When it shows up, we will give it space… we will honor it…
We will also smile, we will also laugh, we will also shed a tear or two, and most importantly, we will share love ever aware that time is precious.
I hope you spend time with those you love this Holiday Season.
Thanks for reading,
Pam