A Conundrum


A Conundrum.   I looked up the definition of the word.  I wanted to make sure that if I put myself out there I had it right.  I did.  The word conundrum is a noun.  It means "riddle or hard question".  Here goes.

This morning I was sitting thinking about my kids, well actually our kids, but for the sake of this effort, my kids.  Our youngest daughter had been in for the weekend.  One of her best friends got married on Saturday.  She was in the wedding and we were invited to be part of the celebration.  ( First, that is a conundrum itself...how did Bill and I get to be friends of the parents?????)  We had a really nice time.  I got to have her all to myself for a bit on Friday afternoon before her duties and obligations as Maid of Honor began, and before all of the wedding festivities.   The wedding was lovely and fun.  Bill and I got to see some of Megan's best friends and spend time with them as well.   It was nice to be included and even complimented that Megan's friends enjoy our company.   Then it was Sunday.  I had to give Meg a hug and put her on a plane back to her life in Cleveland.  A Conundrum.

After Bill and I dropped Megan off we decided to Face Time our oldest daughter Anne.  She answered the call and we got to chat for a few minutes with her and her husband, Patrick.   We got to see Max, our grandson, chatting and playing and rolling around.  It was fun to see all of that....BUT it was on the phone.  A second Conundrum.

This morning, Monday, I texted our youngest.  I have not talked live with him for two weeks.  I did the Mom thing, I used guilt!  I said texting and all of that was fine, but I needed to have a conversation.  A real live voice on the phone, a sharing of experiences and ideas.  My guilting him worked.  We had a lovely conversation and got caught up on what has been happening in his and our new Megan Saxelby's lives.
  A third Conundrum.

I am pretty sure that if we had more kids, I would have more conundrums.

So, why the conundrum?  I went back and re-read the six premises I originally suggested about my philosophy on parenting 4 years ago.  Here is the list:

First,  Love unconditionally.  Well, that is all well and good, but how about the fact that sometimes I would like to have them conditionally...like live closer, and have weekly dinners and chat every day?

Second, Be the Parent.   Well, except when I want what I want, like spending more time live and chatting live and not putting people on planes.

Third, Use the Scary Word "No".  Ok,
except don't use that word on me.  

Fourth,  Do not try to create the child in your image.   Except when I want them to know exactly what I want and hope they have ESP and call me because I miss them.

Five,  Help them find their way.   I agree, but sometimes I don't like it!

Six,  Do No Harm.   Does guilt count?

There.   That is my Conundrum.  I admit openly and clearly and honestly that I really do think all six of those ideas are important and have merit.

Just maybe not on a dreary Monday when I would love to have coffee with Anne and hug Max, and meet Billy for a beer, and have Megan over for dinner, well actually have Anne, Patrick, Max, Billy, Megan and Megan over for dinner.

Just sayin.....

Until next time,

A partial impostor