All grown up... and collaborating... THE BEST!

Hello all!

Having adult children... the best!  

At this point in my life, it's time to reap the rewards of trying hard not to mess up my kids too much... which is the point of this whole blog.  How to try and raise people... good, intelligent, competent people.  

Our three children are all grown, they live and work on their own, they make a living that supports them, and they are people I am proud to know.  

My husband and I consistently advised our children to follow their passions, pursue their dreams and make work something you are excited about... at least most of the time!

Now, one of those three people, our oldest daughter Anne, has helped me with my passion... writing books for kids... children's picture books.  We got to do it together!

I came up with my first book idea about 3 years ago.  At that time, I asked all of the family for their input... built in editors and critics.  That worked well, and my first book, MAX AND BEAR, was published in June of 2014.

Then... I had an idea for my next book... and Anne, having graduated from NYU with a degree in fine art, said "Hey, I want to do the art for this book!" ( She hasn't been slacking off.. she spent the last 10 years using her art to build an artisan cheese store in New York, called Saxelby Cheesemongers.)

I was thrilled... so off we went... building this fun new book together!

Both of my books, MAX AND BEAR, and now JOISE THE GREAT, are stories based on Anne's children.  I had spent so much time trying to come up with the right story ideas... it really is true that the best ones come from your own life. Who knew? Just have adorable grandchildren!

We began by talking about the story, reworking the manuscript, thinking about the look of the book, and off Anne went!  Every couple of weeks I would receive the newest and latest drawing... it was like opening a wonderful present each time I received one.

This new book has an entirely different look from the first one.  It is more whimsical and fun, more personal, and of course that is due to Anne.  Who knows how to draw their children better than their own Mommy?  ( If had to draw that would be a sad story, as I have absolutely no artistic talent!)

What a blast it has been to see what Anne drew... to see how my words were brought to life by her pictures... she even got input from the real life Max, who told her that in one of the drawings the bridge had to go somewhere...it couldn't stop on just part of the page!

When your children are little, and you're immersed in the process of helping them become who they are meant to be, you don't think about how that might look 20 years later.

Twenty years goes by WAY too fast... and then you get to collaborate with your own talented adult daughter on a project that brings a whole new depth to your relationship. 

 Now we get the chance to enjoy the finished project... together!

Let's see what happens next...

Anne wants to do the art for my next book too!

Pam

 

 

Parenting 101...

Hello!

I have been thinking about being a parent... I have been one for a long time... 

Our oldest is 35, and yes, time does truly fly by.... our youngest daughter is 33 and our son, the baby... :)  is 28.

During all those years, I would say that I was a good parent... not perfect, not horrible, good.

I think back to one of the first blogs I wrote, a number of years ago, when I came up with what I felt were general guidelines for parenting.  There were about 6 things I think, yet I have decided which one I feel, and or course this is my opinion, is the most important.

Unconditional love.... that is the basis of parenting.   There are lots of other things that go into it as well, yet I feel this premise... loving your child unconditionally, is the most basic and important thing we can do to and for our kids.

When you become a parent, during the whole evolution of anticipating and preparing for your child's arrival, you change.  You are no longer only responsible for yourself.   You are responsible for another being... in every way.  Humans are born completely dependent on others for care.  We are helpless.  Babies need adults to ensure that they survive.  

When you see your child for the first time, that love you feel... it is hard to explain.

I have had the pleasure of feeling that 3 times on my own, and now have had the beautiful gift of watching my children experience that feeling as well.... I have 3 grandchildren.

We were out with all of our family last week, the youngest grandchild was baptized and I thought about unconditional love, and the power that has.

When you love someone unconditionally, you're not giving them a get out jail free pass, you're undertaking the task of doing the hard work it takes to help a child become a good and competent person.  A person who can stand on their own and make their own way in this world.

I would also argue, that loving unconditionally means you have to do the hard work of providing boundaries, correcting behavior, setting appropriate limits, teaching your child how to love themselves well, love others well, respect others, and lead with integrity.  

Leading with love... such a good thing.  When our kids feel loved, when we demonstrate that we love them, no strings attached, through the good, the bad, and the ugly, we help them become functioning capable people.

Unconditional love... such a good thing... and the best thing you can do and give your child....

Parenting 101... love your children unconditionally.

Until next time,

Pam