As adults, we understand that death is a part of life, but for children, it can be difficult to grasp. So, how are you supposed to tell your child that their loved one has passed away? Author Christopher Haymon explains that it won’t be easy, and it may be a little uncomfortable, but it is a conversation you need to have.
Guest Blog Post: Healthy Choices, Healthy Kids: A Parents' Guide to Raising Health-Conscious Children
Photo via Pexels
I am sharing this article from Dana Brown, the creator of HealthConditions.info, which aims to provide Internet users with helpful content and resources that will lead them to making healthier decisions.
Parents have many responsibilities, with one of the most important to raise children to be self-sufficient adults who make healthy choices. Though your offspring may often seem like they’re not listening, you can count on them to observe your actions. Modeling good habits increases the likelihood that they will adopt a healthy lifestyle.
Offer Nutritious Foods
Establish a positive relationship with food. Have nourishing snacks readily available. Avoid using food as rewards or labeling them as “good” or “bad.” Instead, teach children about balanced eating — consuming plenty of nutrient-rich foods, limiting empty calories, and enjoying other foods in moderation.
Invite your kids to participate in menu planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep. Not only does this promote family bonding and teach valuable life skills, but also, research shows that children are more willing to try foods when they’re involved in preparing them.
Limit Caffeine Consumption
Though coffee is the most well-known source of caffeine, the stimulant is found in other drinks and snacks that kids commonly enjoy, including:
Soda
Energy drinks
Chocolate
Flavored juices
In moderation, caffeine is unlikely to cause harmful effects, but too much can cause symptoms such as upset stomach, increased heart rate, headaches, and shakiness. Children should consume no more than the recommended daily intake for their age group.
Encourage Physical Activity
Exercise does a body good. It helps children to strengthen muscles, develop motor skills, build stamina and maintain a healthy weight. In addition, regular physical activity decreases the risk of childhood diseases, such as obesity and diabetes. Kids ages 6 to 17 should get at least one hour daily of moderately intense physical activity. Motivate your crew to get moving using the following tips:
Make it a family affair. Participate in a 5K together, play frisbee at the park or create an obstacle course in your backyard.
Opt for active modes of transportation. Walk or bike to get around locally. Take the stairs instead of an elevator.
Invite friends to join in the fun. Encourage your kids to start a neighborhood pickup game. Have a pool party. Meet up with other families at the playground.
Monitor Screen Time
The time children and teens spend on screens can amount to a part-time job with kids ages 8 to 12 averaging four to six hours per day on devices. Too much screen time is linked to sleep difficulties, weight problems, poor school performance, and a host of other issues. Quality of technology use is as important as quantity. Unrestricted access may expose young viewers to inappropriate content.
Make screen time a positive experience by setting clear and consistent guidelines. Educate your children about digital literacy to protect their safety and privacy.
Foster a Lifetime Love of Learning
It’s never too early to talk to your children about their hopes for the future and how they can achieve them. Model how they can pursue dreams by chasing your own. Perhaps you’ve put off earning a degree or you’re mulling a new career in early childhood education. A Bachelor of Science in Education degree prepares you to work with preschool and elementary-aged children. Online degree programs offer the flexibility to complete coursework at your own pace while still fulfilling other responsibilities. What better example to set than seeking higher education.
Don’t worry if you are not always a pillar of healthy living; everyone slips up occasionally. Treat these moments as opportunities to demonstrate self-compassion and resilience. It’s all a part of learning how to lead a long and happy life.
The Conundrum...
Hi all,
Yesterday was the 5 month mark of the death of our daughter, Anne.
I have trouble each month when the 9th comes up.. I think about what she was doing on the 8th…no thought that it would be her last day on this earth… just going about her life… having dinner, walking the dog, kissing her kids good night.
No one could have known, as those events occurred, that that would be the final time…
Now, I am not trying to cast a sullen morbidity about all of this, or a woe is me thought process…
What I am trying to do is talk about the realities of death, and how final it is.
People have said “You can still talk with her”, and I do. However, we all know that is not the same as being able to call someone and have a dialogue… not a one way conversation.
Why do I write? Because I know I am not alone, and am humbled enough to know that my pain is not any greater or any less than others who have to go through this in their lives.
Losing a chid is never easy at any age.
Yes, I am grateful that Anne had 40 years of life, and yes I am grateful for the memories of joy and love that are mine forever…
But… I am heartbroken that that’s it. There is no future, there is only the past.
So, my conundrum is this…
How do I acknowledge this as the reality it is, and still go on with life in a meaningful way?
That’s what I am working on…
Celebrating who Anne was/is … and living with the conundrum of joy and sorrow that permeates my heart.
Yesterday as I was talking with family, this is the new conundrum for each of us…. I am not alone in this.
However, I think about Anne, and who she was… still is in the lasting memories of all that she did, and the change she created through her passions, and her lovely humble, strong, intelligent self…
She would not want us to wallow in grief… she wants me, and those who love her, to continue on with life.
To celebrate life, to make a difference to be change agents, to lead with love.
I am not exactly sure how I will do this…
Each day is a new and different start…
All I know is that I will keep getting up, keep trying, keep living in a way that would make her proud.
She would not give up, and neither will I.
Thanks for reading,
Pam
Guest Blog Post: From the Backyard to the Edge of the World: Ideas to Get Your Child Outdoors More
Photo via Pexels
I am sharing this article from Christopher Haymon, who has learned the value of saving and budgeting the hard way. He created Adulting Digest to help others who need help navigating the world of adult finances
It’s no secret that, in general, kids don’t enjoy as much time outside today as their parents and grandparents did during their childhoods. Rather than engaging in unstructured playtime amid nature, this generation of children is more apt to spend their free time watching TV, playing video games, or browsing social media. This is a natural consequence of technological development, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it for your family.
If you’re ready to find ways to get your child to spend more time outdoors, you’ve come to the right place. From backyard activities to family travel ideas, these ideas can get you started.
Benefits of Being Outdoors
Beyond wanting to get your kids outside the house, there are plenty of benefits from spending more time outdoors.
Why Outdoor Play Is Important to Childhood Development
Kids Should Spend at Least Three Hours Outside Every Day, According to Experts
Activities for the Backyard
When you need to stay close to home, there are plenty of ways for children to enjoy being outside in the backyard.
14 Ways to Make Your Backyard Kid-Friendly on a Budget
How to Get Kids Into Gardening
6 DIY Firepit Ideas To Spruce Up Any Backyard
Activities for the Park
When it’s time to travel farther afield, consider family time at local gardens, parks, or enjoying activities like walking, cycling, or running.
11 Tips for Creating an Awesome Treasure Hunt
The Benefits of Walking for Children
4 Tips When Mountain Biking with Your Child
Fun Outdoor Family Trip Ideas
When it’s time to amp up the fun, consider outdoor family adventures for your next vacation.
The Benefits of White Water Rafting for You and Your Family
10 Tips for a Successful Family Camping Trip
Become a Bird Watching Family
Your child doesn’t have to miss out on all the benefits of playing and exploring outdoors. Consider the ideas in this resource list to start planning fun activities for them (and you) to do outside. Whether it’s in the backyard, park, or around the country, there is no shortage of ways to get your child (and the whole family!) outdoors on a regular basis.
What next?
Hi,
The last blog I wrote was all about Life… the part when something tragic happens… you have a new reality… and the Grief that accompanies that …
Now… what next?
I know for myself, and I can only speak for myself, that this is a singular journey. I can not own, or choose anyone else’s journey, Grief is a singular process, no matter what anyone might think to the contrary.
We all talk about support, and support systems which of course, are essential during a time of great loss… and yes, although they are essential and necessary, each one of us has to navigate their own journey.
My personal journey is not the same as anyone else’s.
So, what to do? What next?
Honestly it depends on the day.
I am approaching my 4th month without my daughter. I still can not believe that is my new reality…
Someone asked me the other day how many children I have… and I said 3. Because, no matter the fact that Anne is gone, does not diminish the fact that I still have 3 children… one just happens to be in a different space.
It’s interesting answering that question… I could say I have 2 children, I could say I have 3 children, and one has died…
I could make up a whole lie…
The reality of this journey is, it sucks…..
“It will get better. “ “ Time heals all wounds.” “ She’s in a better place. “ etc… fall flat.
I am not writing today to complain.
I am writing because it helps… it helps me to put my feelings and experience out there.
If anyone else is experiencing loss… I am sorry… if any one of my words help … I am thankful.
So, on to what’s next?
I don’t know…
One foot in front of the other…
Thanks for reading,
Pam
Life...
I opened this page, and saw that the last blog I wrote, was exactly 3 days before our oldest daughter died.
It was quite interesting to me, that the title is “Being Happy.”
I was oblivious to the major life trauma that was about to happen.
I just re-read the piece, and am humbly trying to absorb the energy I embraced here… as I sit now attempting to write this new piece, 3 months plus 2 days since our daughter died.
Life has a new reality now… a different rhythm.
I’m trying to absorb, to cope.
Coping, that is a good word:
1a : to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties —often used with with learning to cope with the demands of her schedule. b : to maintain a contest or combat usually on even terms or with success —used with with. 2 archaic : meet, encounter. 3 obsolete : strike, fight. transitive verb.
The definition above is from the Merriam Webster dictionary.
I particularly like the part that says, “strike, fight.”
Those words are ones that I have not employed or acted on much in my life, but during this time now of Grief… and I capitalize Grief… because when you are going through it… it is all capitals, I have wanted to strike and to fight.
People don’t know how to cope with Grief… not just the griever, but the supposed friends and support group around you don’t know how to do that effectively either.
In our society we’re supposed to “fix, get over, move on.” I will tell you that is an unrealistic and painful way to process Grief.
I have learned much from Megan Devine’s excellent book , “It’s OK That You’re Not Ok.”
Her words and suggestions, understanding and advice are quite real. She, personally has experienced excruciating loss. She lost her partner, I have lost my daughter.
People talk about loss, and if you haven’t gone through it, you can not understand.
I know that people mean well… but it is in their good intentions that help can go wrong.
I have a number of friends who have tried, and I know they love me. However, as I continue to learn and find my way through this painful time, I will tell you that we all need to process and deal with grief more humanely and effectively.
I have apologized to people who suffered great loss, as I now know, my well meaning words were often off the mark…
Platitudes that are elemental in our society for how to comment and talk with people about loss, just do not work.
The absolute best thing to say is “I’m here” and be present. Sit next to ,listen, don’t try to fix. Don’t send articles, don’t send cards… just be.
People don’t know what they need… so allow them the opportunity to wallow in their misery as they need to, allow them to cry, allow yourself to be uncomfortable in their presence, but be present, and through that process you can provide solace.
Life… it’s not always happy…
But in living we learn … perhaps how to find a new way to enjoy happiness, understanding that nothing can or will replace the person you love, and that they would want you to embrace life… integrate their loss into your soul, and honor them by living life well.
Grief is love… that’s why it’s so hard.
Thanks for reading,
Pam
Being Happy...
Hi All,
So, right now I am happy, and grateful.
No big change has occurred, nothing new has happened, I have just decided that I am going to enjoy feeling good!
Do you ever do that? Realize you’re happy… then think, “Is there something I should be thinking about differently, is there something I should be doing differently, is there something I should be feeling differently?”
I do, and then I tell myself to cut it out, or at least I am getting better about that!
There have been times in my life where I have thought… “Oh well, when THAT happens, then I will be happy. Or if that happens I will be happy, or if I can change this one thing I will then be happy.”
Isn’t it crazy to think like that???
Do you know how much of life we can actually waste thinking like that?
I do, I have wasted months, probably years!
I have been enjoying writing these blogs and getting peoples responses and reactions.
When you write, it is motivating to have people interact and share their thoughts, both positive and negative.
I don’t expect that everyone would agree with my perspective or perceptions all the time… that’s not why I do this, or why spend time working on different pieces.
I do this because I hope, and I have to say I love that word “Hope” such a powerful word, that maybe something I share will make a difference in someone’s life. Maybe someone who has been searching or struggling will find a sentence or a thought that will make them feel heard.
I think being seen and heard is a powerful thing. When I feel seen and heard, it affects my whole well being.
It’s not that I need people to like me, or agree with me.
So I hope that when people read these posts, they feel some semblance of being heard, and seen in the words that I write.
That something I have shared with either a struggle of mine, or a perspective of mine will resonate.
And in resonating, someone will have a better day because of that!
I hope you are happy today, and if not, I hope you will find something that can make you smile, and maybe just maybe, that will make your day happier….
We don’t have to wait for big things in our lives to make us happy.
Find joy in something … anything each day, and happiness will be yours.
Thanks for reading,
Pam
When you get stuck...
Hi,
Do you ever get stuck? Stuck in a certain rut, stuck in a certain way of thinking, stuck with a situation?
I know the answer to those questions is … “YES” … everyone gets stuck sometimes.
However, the question is not do you get stuck, because as I said we all know that we do, its’ what are you going to do about it?
I’ve always had the dream to write. So I started…I started first with a blog… which this is an evolved form of, and from there began to write Children’s Books… Children’s Picture Books.
I have written 3 to date, with one more in the hopper… and 3 more in my head to some degree.
Now… here’s the story.
After writing the first 3, I was offered a contract from a small start up Traditional Publisher… THRILLED was I!
However, Covid happened, and I am still waiting… and I am sure many other people can relate to this, to have a definitive date for it’s release … it is dragging on… and so far there’s only the hope it will come out.
So, now I have to figure out what to do. Should I continue to hope? Should I decide to go another way?
I am thinking … maybe I need to run a parallel path. Write other things…
So, here’s where that comes in.
Blogging… it’s fun, it’s hopefully somewhat helpful or interesting to others… and if nothing else, I am practicing writing, which is alway a good thing.
Whenever we are stuck, it’s a good practice to just do something… it doesn’t have to be mind blowing, or huge… just a start.
Nothing happens if you don’t start…
Good luck everyone! Hope you start your way right out of being stuck!
Until next time,
Pam
SHOULDS, WOULDS, AND COULDS...
Should, Woulds, and Coulds….
Have you ever been caught in those moments?
I should have… I would have… I could have…?
I’ve been thinking about those words as I watch and ponder where the world is at right now.
Are their many thing we should have done? Would we have done them if we could?
Should have, would have, could have … ultimately, who cares?
All the lamenting and wringing of hands over what has already happened won’t change a thing.
So… why am I even talking about this???
The answer is to remind myself and all of us to be kind…
We all make mistakes, and actually those mistakes when looked at through a growth lens, will be the catalyst to new and wonderful opportunities.
If we never fail, if we never make mistakes, how boring would life be???
O.k…. It could be nice to never feel the shame or disappointment, or sadness of failing, but again, who cares?
Humans would never evolve if we all chose to stay complacent, to not risk.
It truly is hard if you take a risk and it doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped. Yet, the whole process of taking that risk has changed you… and that is the greatest part about being alive.
Each day we have the most amazing opportunity to start over… yesterday is just that… yesterday. It is gone, never to be retrieved. The purpose of yesterday was to provide your those lessons, joys, and experiences.
So let it go…
Whatever you think you should have done, learn from….
Whatever you think you would have done, learn from…
Whatever you think you could have done, learn from…
Take all of those shoulds, woulds, and coulds and use them as your catalysts for today, and tomorrow and the next day.
Learn each day. Let go of what has happened, use your history as its own teaching tool.
Now… go out today and try again!
Try, try, try until you succeed.
Appreciate your journey… the failures that lead to the successes… the ultimate joy of being a flawed human being!
Pam
A Brand New Year.....
Hi Everyone!
What a time we’ve been in… and are still in to a lesser/greater extent depending on where you are.
How are you doing? How are your kids? How is everyone feeling about either being back in school, or soon starting?
Are we hopeful? Are we unsure? Are we scared?
I think all 3 of those questions will have yes as the answer, dependent on geography and individual load for continued unknowns.
I read an article this morning about living life right now, with all the unknowns. It pointed out, quite accurately, that each day is actually, always unknown. No matter your level of planning, something can cause the need for a pivot, for flexibility, for a different strategy.
Two of our grandchildren live in Brooklyn, NY. They stared school today. One began third grade and the other began second grade… in person!
We received the cutest photos, with all the regular first day of school needs… new shoes, backpacks, cute outfits… and SMILES!
They are one month behind our granddaughter who lives in Georgia. She started school a month ago, and is a brand new kindergartner! So far, that experience is going quite well…she is healthy, her classmates are healthy, and she is most of all, happy.
This past 20 months has taken its toll on kids, on teachers, on learning… and how we proceed in a time such as this in a direction that will allow kids to continue to have the opportunities to become their best and most importantly, complete selves.
School provides that for them, and although it’s scary right now, perhaps the best strategy we can employ is one of measured trust, and intelligent choice.
Everyone will need to decide how that looks for them, and for their kids, however, I think our school officials are trying hard to provide that experience.
Our kids deserve no less.
Happy first month of school Gracie, and Happy first day of school, Max and Josie!
Until next time,
Pam